Cornfield Meet

Things collide here.

The Kingdom of Could Be Funky Childhood Self-Help Cartoons

Thanks to Wil Wheaton for this post and a trip back to Saturday mornings. Mentioned in the comments was "The Kingdom of Could Be You," and yoicks – it’s frightening how many of the opening lyrics to this gem I remembered even before I watched it.

Oh, Timer where hast thou gone? Dr. Henry, who is left to teach us Emergency Lessons for People? And three, oh threethreethree, are you still the most magic of numbers?

March 31, 2008 Posted by | 1980s, eighties, geek, Television | Leave a comment


I’ve got two little blisters on the tips of my next-to-biggest toes today, and I’m pretty proud of them, since I earned them yesterday on a personal milestone run: The Five-Miler.

My youngest brother convinced me that for this year’s Hall of Fame Race, we should run the 5-mile. (In turn, he’s got someone trying to convince him to run a marathon this fall. He’s trying to rope me into that one, too, but first things first.) Realizing this goes against a few of my own personal reasons for sticking with the 2-mile – having a time to try and beat every year, for
instance, and the knowledge that when I hit that misery wall on race day I’m only about 5 minutes from the finish line – I’ve decided to give it a shot anyway.

It was sunny and about 40 degrees yesterday just before noon, and I figured I’d run a roughly four-miles-and-change loop through a nearby housing development, around one of the local park tracks twice, and then back again. My only goal was to see if I could do it without stopping to walk, and I wasn’t paying attention to time at all. The longest I’d ever done at a stretch was three miles, and it’s been at least three years since then, but I figured if I paced myself at the start, I should be able to do this.

And I did. Sure, it took me about 55 minutes, which would’ve put me waaaaaay down in last year’s standings, but for a first try, I’ll take it. Heck, until I did two miles last weekend, it had been five and a half months since I’d run at all. I even had the wind to take some nice long strides up our street for the finish. And since I wasn’t doing the hard charge the last half-mile, I didn’t have the whole lungs-burning thing going on when I reached our driveway.

When I checked the route on Google Maps yesterday afternoon, it came out to five miles exactly, and that’s kind of cool.

I was a little stiff and sore last night, but knowing I can do this? That feels great.

March 30, 2008 Posted by | geek, Ohio, Sports | , | Leave a comment

Future war, invincibility, time playground, and Rockin’ the Wii

Catching up on notes from the week:

I slammed through "Old Man’s War" in about three days – one of those quickly addicting books that made me pick it up any time I had a spare minute or two to read a couple pages. More Scalzi’s definitely on the to-read list.

Tearing at me, though, was Volume 2 of Robert Kirkman’s "Invincible: Ultimate Collection," which arrived in a surprise package from my buddy Ivan, who got me hooked on the character last month when he mailed me Volume 1. I’m itching to get back to that over the next couple days, even as I’ve already dived into Jay Lake’s "Rocket Science."

Here’s another fun bit of writing: "Wikihistory," by Desmond Warzel. Take five minutes. Enjoy.

Closed out the work week with a rewarding moment of weakness and bought Guitar Hero III. (I knew there was a reason I loaned the federal government that extra money last year.) There’s a strange and wonderful mosh-pit load of goodness in watching my daughter concentrate on rocking "Story of My Life."


March 22, 2008 Posted by | Books, Current Affairs, Fiction, Games, geek, Ohio, video games | 1 Comment


I went to the library this afternoon and came home with four books to read: John Scalzi’s "Old Man’s War", "The Sparrow" by Mary Doria Russell,"Rocket Science" by Jay Lake, and an old paperback of E.E. "Doc" Smith’s "Triplanetary," which I bought off the used book rack. The reading list had been pretty comic/graphic novel heavy lately, so I figured it was time to load up on some text for a bit.

Little did I know that later in the day, after starting the Scalzi and playing some Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and having a cheeseburger, I’d read that Sir Arthur C. Clarke had died. Truthfully, I think I’ve only read one Clarke novel, that being "Childhood’s End," but damn, what a mind the guy had. (Addition: Heresy – I’d forgotten his awesome short story "The Nine Billion Names of God.") And while I may have only read one of his books, it’s probably fair to say that as a space advernture and science fiction nut since I was a little kid, I’ve probably read dozens of books and hundreds of stories that never would have been written and seen lots of movies that never would have been made if it weren’t for Clarke’s vision clearing the path.

March 18, 2008 Posted by | Books, Current Affairs, Fiction, Film, geek, Science, Web/Tech | 1 Comment

A St. Patrick’s Day blessing, indeed

Jenn, my Irish-to-the-core Muppet-loving wife, this one’s for you:

(Thanks for the heads-up to BoingBoing!)

March 17, 2008 Posted by | Current Affairs, eighties, geek, Ohio, Weblogs | Leave a comment

My next band name…

…is gonna be Zombie Feynman. (Thanks, xckd!)


March 17, 2008 Posted by | geek | Leave a comment

This is….

…my cousin’s online bicycling column at the New Bern Sun Journal.

…my buddy Adam’s newly-created blog.

…the book I read tonight.

…the latest add to my bookmarks.

where I’ll be tomorrow.

March 11, 2008 Posted by | Weblogs | Leave a comment

Save vs. Time

Truth is, I wasn’t half the role-playing geek I wanted to be. Ever. And the death of Dungeons & Dragons creator Gary Gygax is stirring up dust that’s been undisturbed for a long while. Even though I never fully got to explore the world he invented or the countless other RPGs he inspired, I still feel like the guy made an impact on my imagination and the kind of stories I enjoy.

Remember that bad TV movie "Mazes and Monsters" that was supposed to scare kids into NOT playing D&D? Yeah – it had the completely opposite effect on my friend Mike & me, who were 11 or 12 at the time. We knew about Dungeons & Dragons – one of our friends had an older brother in high school who played – but we didn’t know anyone who actually knew much about how it worked. Pretty soon after that movie aired, Mike told me in study hall that he had learned how to play "Mazes and Monsters" for real, and he showed me how some kid had taught him to basically draw a map and on a separate sheet of paper list what was in each room. Then he’d "Dungeon Master" by asking me which rooms I’d like to explore, and as I went into each one, he’d consult his list and tell me what happened.

This was, believe it or not, pretty damn cool to us, and we immediately began building more complex dungeons and treasures and puzzles to solve.

And then, one day, Mike got the Basic Set and the D&D Players Handbook and the Monster Manual, and they were So. Freaking. Cool. He showed me how to roll characters with those polyhedral dice and how to the game worked for real, and we were stoked.

We were also growing up in a small town and were the only two kids our age who had any interest in it, and the fact was, neither of us wanted to take on the full-time responsibility of DM-ing, so we spent a lot of time just creating characters and studying the books and gawking at the monsters and stuff.

It wasn’t long before I got my own red-box AD&D set for Christmas, and the Fiend Folio (the only hardback D&D book I ever owned) too, and Mike got his own old-school Expert Set in the blue box, and for awhile, we managed to play at school by getting passes from teachers to use a vacant classroom during study hall. A third kid joined us briefly, since he was willing to DM, but we only made it through about half of "The Village of Hommlet" before we realized he was more interested in just goofing off than running the game. Mike & I faked our way through "The Lost City" with me behind the screen, but I think that was the only complete module we played.

I wanted to role-play, I did. I tried to play "The Lords of Creation" with a group of kids in high school at one point, but that went to crap in a single afternoon when we players couldn’t get our characters to get along. My friend Aaron and I were huge Star Wars and James Bond fans, and we tried to get into both of those RPGs, but again, it was just an awful lot easier to have fun poring over the books – which we bought by the armload – and creating characters and TALKING about the game than it was to have to, you know, sit down and learn all these freaking rules when we could go play Archon on the C64 instead.

In fact, only once in my life have I truly played a single complete RPG adventure. When I was a sophomore in college, my friend Ivan and I performed in the one-act-play festival, and some of the theatre bunch invited us to partake in an evening of FASA’s Shadowrun.

And it was AWESOME. There were about 10 of us playing, and the game master had his shit totally together, and we played from about 8 p.m. at night until six the next morning, all the way through the adventure, and I loveditloveditLOVEDit. I had this hardboiled, trenchcoated quick-with-his-fists, trigger-happy detective character and I couldn’t WAIT to do it again, and that Christmas my parents were kind of weirded out that I asked for the Shadowrun rulebook, but they got it for me anyway,and Ivan got some books of his own, I think, and we were psyched.

That was the last role-playing I ever did.

I still thumb through my Star Wars RPG books now and then, and I the characters Aaron and my little brothers rolled up for "Tatooine Manhunt" are still on their narrow-ruled sheets of notebook paper tucked into the module – but my blue polyhedral dice were lost a long time ago.

Time to time, I realize I kind of miss them.

March 4, 2008 Posted by | 1980s, Current Affairs, eighties, Games, geek, Ohio | 7 Comments


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